Lightning strikes illuminating a decrepit, old manor house, vines climbing up the trellises and drainpipes, and an eerie organ playing from somewhere inside. Two lamps, which barely seem to cough forth a sickly, brown-yellow light, are stuck to either side of the porch by what seems like a hundred years’ worth of cobwebs. You walk closer, double checking the invitation, hoping that the address on the gate, half a mile back down the driveway, was wrong…but you know it wasn’t…
As you approach the first step, you hear a rust-encrusted handle clack loose, and a door with ancient hinges creaks in arthritic agony.
Another flash of lightning reveals a hunchback, one eye squinked almost shut, a grey beard with wild hairs jutting out at strange angles, teeth almost as yellow as the light oozing from the lamps, and a molding, old Greek sailor’s cap stuck to his larger-than-comfortable head… He limps from the door, smiling grotesquely, and waves a gnarled, crinkled hand while holding a candelabra with what’s left of the other…
“Ah… You’ve arrived… Excellent… The MASTER is particularly proud of his…COLLECTION…and he’s asked me to give you a tour. Unfortunately he’s flown…I mean, he’s driven into the village…to get a bite to eat, but I’m sure he’ll be back before morning… Come this way,” the hunchback says, and beckons you towards the dark, gaping door…
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HEY FOLKS!!! Welcome to the guided tour of my GALLERY, also called
**THE HAUNTED HONEYCOMB!!!**
(Cuz, you know—HIVE… I think I’m funny…but I’m old, and senility makes LOTS of things funny!!! Ha!)
BELOW, in the dunge… I mean *basement* of that creepy old manor house, you will find an arcane collection of ecstatic expressions, created by the MASTER HIMSELF (a certified HOLY FOOL)—(“Master of WHAT?” I hear you asking…don’t think I can’t HEAR you just because you didn’t say it out loud!!!) These wondrous works are all AVAILABLE you for or some other EAGER COLLECTOR to acquire…for a PRICE… Muh ha ha ha haaaaaa! (And they’re ABSOLUTEDLY NOT HAUNTED! Well….maybe a little haunted…)
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“Holy Fool Astral Projecting”
1 of 1, available for 23 swap.hive
“Dog in Bomber Jacket (Transporter Malfunction)”
5 editions minted, 4 available for 23 swap.hive each
“Psychic Gardening”
1 of 1, available for 23 swap.hive
“Virtually Worthless(*) NFT”
53 editions minted, 43 available for 5 swap.hive each
“Nifty Fake Cash (Series 001)”
13 editions minted, 10 available for 13 swap.hive each
“Smiling Thru Adversity”
1 of 1, available for 17 swap.hive
“Record Collection (Bubblegum Pop)”
1 of 1, available for 13 swap.hive
“Record Collection (Dancehall)”
1 of 1, available for 13 swap.hive
“Record Collection (Disco Glow)”
1 of 1, available for 303 swap.hive (the MASTER doesn’t care if this one NEVER sells!)
“High 5”
5 editions minted, 3 available for 5 swap.hive each
“This Magic Moment… (Remixed for the Modern Age)”
1 of 1, available for 31 swap.hive
“Quite The”
1 of 1, available for 23 swap.hive
“On the Way to Slow Down”
1 of 1, available for 23 swap.hive
“Fear of the Sun (In Color)”
5 editions minted, 4 available from 13 to 23 swap.hive each
“Greed is a Bitch”
5 editions minted, 1 available for 23 swap.hive
“Hard Workin’ Heart”
1 of 1, available for 31 swap.hive
“Long Lost Luggage…”
1 of 1, available for 23 swap.hive
“A Haunted Room”
5 editions minted, 3 available from 17 to 23 swap.hive each
“NFT as Manifesto”
13 editions minted, 10 available from 11 to 43 swap.hive each
“Grotesque Portrait”
5 editions minted, 2 available from 13 to 29 swap.hive
“Brand Loyalty”
5 editions minted, 4 available from 13 to 23 swap.hive
“Jack and Betty (Ready to Party)”
3 editions minted, 1 available for 41 swap.hive
“Blub?”
3 editions minted, 2 available from 23 to 41 swap.hive each
“Invader Trips Over Monsters (Animated)”
1 of 1, available for 31 swap.hive
“They’re Coming Down…”
5 editions minted, 4 available for 23 swap.hive each
“Learn Hypnotic Control”
1 of 1, available for 41 swap.hive
“Art is the WHY!”
1 of 1, available for 23 swap.hive
“The Wrath of Scrath”
1 of 1, available for 23 swap.hive
“Always Read the Fine Print”
1 of 1, available for 17 swap.hive
“The Gods are Happy!”
1 of 1, available for 17 swap.hive
“Little Liars Break Hearts”
1 of 1, available for 31 swap.hive
“Trans-Dimensional Spectrum Filter”
11 editions minted, 2 available for 5 swap.hive each
“Level 5 (Was a Real Killer)”
1 of 1, available for 23 swap.hive
“Psycho-Hypnotic Stimulation Implant”
11 editions minted, 6 available for 5 swap.hive each
“Tide is Out…”
1 of 1, available for 43 swap.hive
“Time Dilation Corridor Harmonic”
11 editions minted, 5 available for 5 swap.hive each
“Walk Like an Egyptian (Final Variant)”
1 of 1, available for 31 swap.hive
“High on a Mountain…”
1 of 1, available for 47 swap.hive
“Night Stalker (Crude Animation)”
1 of 1, available for 31 swap.hive
“Ruff Pup”
3 editions minted, 2 available for 23 swap.hive each
“The Side Show (Animated Vers. 1)”
1 of 1, available for 23 swap.hive
“The Side Show (Animated Vers. 2)”
1 of 1, available for 29 swap.hive
“So Damn Punk”
5 editions minted, 2 available for 23 swap.hive each
“Vision Thing (Periwinkle Vers.)”
1 of 1, available for 47 swap.hive
[Editor’s note: Prices and availability subject to change. And the MASTER is crazy, so at any moment, he might decide to add a ZERO to the end of all of his prices, and then you’ll wish you’d bought BEFORE he snapped and went all CAPITALIST-INCLINED!!! In addition, the MASTER’s BRIDE demands sacrifice!!! And the MASTER delivers for the MISTRESS!!!]
The HAUNTED HONEYCOMB Gallery is built in the quaint NFTShowroom Village, which was constructed over the ruins of the Hive-Engine Empire, which itself sprang from the ancient remains of the great HIVE-PRIME civilization that existed before either of the Great Floods (and a few Ice-Ages, as well…) If you are descended from HIVE-BLOOD (and you can still reckon your ACCOUNTS) then you should automatically find acceptance in NFTShowroom Village! If you have questions about any of this, feel free to ask. If NONE of this makes sense, try visiting HERE!!!
“Maybe the NEXT time you come by, I’ll take you on a tour of our LOST SOULS WING, where the MASTER holds a number of bound ENTITIES that he finds amusing… But not now. The sun is rising…and I hear wings… You should go! QUICKLY!!!!! AND DON’T LOOK BACK UNTIL YOU REACH THE ROAD!!!!”
—Richard F. Yates
(Primitive Thoughtician and Holy Fool)
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